Sunday, October 5, 2008
We were asked to write a testimony and stuff, here's mine. :D
Patricia Gan, Ibanag
In the midst of all this confusion, a line from a song struck me. It said, ‘Ako’y iniliwan mula sa’king kadiliman’. It seemed to be one of those times when you can’t help but think that that song was composed especially for you.
I have no tear-jerking experience to share, but I do have a memory-an ongoing roller-coaster ride, a repeating flashback that happens to me everyday that I could say is the perfect story of mine to link to that line. You see, in all my 12 years of being alive in this place called Earth, this is possibly the first time that I have ever had to feel such an annoying balancing act. Of course, if you haven’t felt it the way I have, you will probably think that I am being naïve. That is actually the reason why I wish to elaborate on this life of mine.
Everyday, something bad happens to me. It doesn’t matter what day it is, something still happens. It’s as if it was written in this big notebook of destiny that I should be given at least one downfall each day. Sometimes I’d get with half of paranoia (excluding the part where you think that everyone’s out to hurt you) or someone will get mad or I lose something. This went on for days, and soon I lost count of the weeks. I didn’t get sick of that so easily though, because God always remembered to let something good happen to me each day. He would give me these simple things to lift my mood… every single day. He would cheer me up.
Although after all this, I still started disliking all of this balance in my life. There was even this one time when I would look at any person that passed by and I would secretly accuse him or her of being apathetic. I knew that I should be happy that my life wasn’t taking any big dips and all but ironically, I would rather get bombarded with an irreversible physical illness and get dumped with problem after problem rather than go through another endless day or week of this safe harmonious life. I wished on and on about a day of pure bliss or a day of heartbreaking sadness, because I desperately needed to know that somehow, someway, my life wasn’t going to stay this way forever-that I wouldn’t have to endure this boredom with my life until eternity.
But after hearing that line, I learned something. I should be wishing on and on that I could thank God more. I should be praising him right now, showing my gratitude because everyday-each and every one-he would make me happy. God would always shine his light and glory every time I was down. I used to be so hopelessly confused when I should know exactly what’s happening since I didn’t have to feel any fervor or breakdowns but my mind has cleared even just a little. And besides, all those downfalls kept my feet on the ground and all those good things kept me going… what more can I ask for?
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at