Friday, September 26, 2008
Welcome.
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I'm so sad. My favorite post suddenly got deleted. :( Restless, restless me, right?
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A few days ago, we went to a party and someone was singing this on the Karaoke. I can't believe how much lyrics can suddenly open an old scar-some sort of well hidden secret... something you wished didn't show on your face.
I thought of the friends I've had when I was 5 or 6. They were the kind of people that followed and led whenever they felt like it, I was the kind of person that just wanted to have fun... and we were just the kind of people that were content with being friends.
But that was then and this is now. Now there's this barrier and limit inside everyone's hearts. It's the fault not of growing up but because of the people that invented 'cool' and 'uncool'. Because of the imaginary pressure of being labeled and brought over to the negative side, people unconsciously push themselves and others to going with the flow, with no intention of being viscous. We just let ourselves get lost in the sea of thoughts and stress and problems of following the movement of the crowds... when not doing so will free us from all our prejudice... from all the pain and hurt we purposely and/or accidentally inflict on one another. In other words, why make our life so hard and depressing when it can be joyous and carefree??
I'm sick and tired of all the hating. I don't want to hate but as if I can make everyone else think that way too, right? Why am I even dreaming of a day, any day, that won't leave me tossing and turning at night because of the regret? How come I can't just be given this one friend that would be happy just to be with me... so we can go back to where we started from-she just following and leading whenever she wants to, me just wanting to have fun... us contented with being with each other-the very best of friends.
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Labels: happy
My dad got home today. No time to talk, I'm too happy!!
:P
:-h
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Monday, September 22, 2008
I have a friend that knows exactly what to say to me whenever a chance comes up. I have a friend that knows me---one that I will not hesitate to relate my problems to. She's a kind, talented person that's always happy and joyous. I've known her to be good at singing and at playing instruments but one thing I like about her the most is her drawings...
One day, the two of us were alone together (ehhhh?!). We were literally doing nothing. To explain further, I was doing nothing. I was just staring everywhere-all around me. But (let's call her Kazuki) Kazuki was busy doing something-she was drawing.
All those little, humble masterpieces spoke out to me in whispers and invited me give them company. They were calling out to me to make more caricatures and draw them on paper-to make a mark that will not be forgotten. That day was imprinted on my heart, That day where me and my friend Kazuki were drawing side by side, unspoken little emotions of friendship and happiness passed on to each other in invisible smiles and laughs, as we put on paper what life felt like that day...
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Labels: bestfriend, me
She laughed so much and replied, 'Love the ceiling, then.'
I laughed too and I looked at the ceiling. I shouted upwards, 'Hey, ceiling, I love you! Will you be my boyfriend?!'
At that we started laughing. I told her after we calmed down a bit, 'Uhmm... does that mean if I eat under THAT ceiling, this one will get jealous? /:)' WOW, me and my best friend. =))
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Labels: gommenasai, sorry
I woke up this morning with a pang of guilt that surprised me. I don't know what, but I've done something wrong. So whoever I may have hurt for the last 12 years of my life...
Sorry.
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Have you ever noticed how much trying to find out what the other person is thinking can help? It's a miracle, and fights start less. You get to know how to forgive those that have excuses (reasonable ones, if I may add) and to avoid those who really just have a stupid attitude problem. Its convenient knowing these kinds of things, since it gives you a lot to think about something to occupy your time when you're bored. But the problem with these kinds of things is that there are just some people that are too darn annoying. It's like everything they do is supposed to be related to some mean background or wrong parents, that kind of senseless talk, but I've seen people with genuine reasons to do something wrong, and they didn't have to cover it all up with made-up tales and fantasy alibis. There are these things that don't strike me as really annoying, until they are repeated over and over. By then i couldn't take it anymore: I'd be so annoyed and nothing could stop me, really, unless I wish myself to.
How come some people just can't get out there, knowing what they actually did wrong, and say 'It's all my fault since I did this _________. Sorry.'? It's a nice question, since I don't know the answer either.
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Labels: Short
This is going to be short.
Short and simple is nice.
I need someone. Anyone. For something. Yeahh, for that.
That's it.
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sakura was feeling dizzy. One moment, Derek was there, looking so pitiful and serious, next he wasn't. Then he was there again, distorted in all places. Suddenly she couldn't see and when she could see again, she was on the floor, with Derek hugging her, crying.
"Sakura," he said, "If you died, I'll follow you..." He let her down and took the swiss knife.
Sakura got the swiss knife from him. And threw it, weakly, to where Fero was standing. In her sweet voice, she said, "Fero, keep it for me, and don't let anyone hurt themselves..."
Fero was looking at her so intently, and he wasn't making any move. "Sakura..." Derek said. "Sakura, I will follow... I promise..."
"Hey, you. Call the clinic and stop crying." Sakura said that with all the strength she had left and she closed her eyes and lay there, just like a princess. Her bleeding body was lying face up, and you can see the beauty of her face. Her blonde, curly hair was spread about her head and her white, angelic face. She looked like she came from a fairytale, except that she was real... As Hans's footsteps faded away (Hans had also protested, saying "I don't want to leave her... but as the others didn't reply, he had to do it anyway), the silence was almost absolute.
Derek was coming closer to her, unable to restrain himself any longer. Fero gave a cry of "What are you doing?" that peirced the atmosphere, but Derek didn't hear. He was there, almost kissing her, so close... Fero surrendered his curiosity, but not his love. Venus looked at him, and she felt his despair. He was just looking there, wishing that he was Derek, wishing that HE had said I love you. Hoping that those three words came from his mouth, wishing he was there, about to kiss his one true love.
Derek was so close... and then they kissed. Sakura made no move, of course, and she didn't feel anything. But Derek did, and he felt his agony of keeping it all inside fading away, being replaced by that one kiss. And Fero was feeling something too, his sadness, seeping in. He fell, kneeling on the floor. Derek sat down again, and said to Fero "Hey, Fero. Go give her your kiss. You love her too, I know it. She'll never know. And I'm sure she wont be offended anyway. because you only did it for love... like I did..."
And there it was. The 5 friends.
Sakura found what she was looking for. It was a bright red swiss knife, in a box... When Derek saw her pull it out he shouted, "No!" and he started banging the door harder. Fero came then, with the key, and as he was fiddling with it, Derek saw Sakura pick the knife. Derek shouted again, and Sakura, startled, cut the palm of her hand accidentally. Fero was able to open the door now, just when the others were coming.
Derek rushed inside, and tried to grab the knife from Sakura. She struggled, and they were going around, trying to get a hold of the knife.
That's when it happened.
Venus tried to get the knife too, and it was thrust into Sakura's side, maybe about where the appendix should have been. Hans and Fero shouted at Venus, they were mad at her for hurting Sakura. Venus just shot mean glances at them. She doubled over, knife in hand. Derek had let go of her, but now he was holding her face in his hands, trying to make sure that she was okay. Everyone was compressing around Sakura when Venus suddenly shouted: "Hey! Don't get near her!" After that, Venus came to Sakura's aide.
As I said, Sakura was strong, and she can disregard pain to go in defense for her friends. She stood up and asked Venus, "Hey, how can you say that? That's Hypocrisy, you know?!"
Derek stood up, too. "Idiot! You're hurt and you're standing up! Think first! Are you really that stupid?!" He didn't want to say that, it happened out of habit.
Sakura looked at him, her eyes were pleading and sad. She talked to him, in a clear but weak voice... "I thought you would always be there for me, backing me up... I didn't care if you teased me or anything because all I know is that that's your way of showing how much you care for your friends... but how can you do this to me?"
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Monday, September 15, 2008
Ten Conyomandments
Conyo here, conyo there, conyo everywhere! Here at La Salle, conyospeak has become an unofficial language as a good chunk of the student body knows, or maybe even mastered the socialite tongue. However, one must never forget the basics of the conyo and we thusly bring you:
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Labels: emotions, guilt, love, personality, restless
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Labels: bleeding, controlled, puppets
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Friday, September 12, 2008
Labels: anime, baka, daijobu, do'shite, manga, sayoonara, stupid
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Labels: backstabbing, backstabs, cruel, mean
Number one. You're a backstabber too, and you know it.
Number two. Commandment number eight. Remember it. Live it.
Number three. Whatever you do, whereever you go, someone's still gonna backstab you, so what do you care?
Number four. Backstabs were meant for the back, not for the heart... don't let it get to you.
Number five. They've got nothing better to do... in other words, don't get bored.
Number six. I can't say that backstabbers are &*$#ing stupid, 'coz that would mean I'm &*%$ing stupid too... so nevermind.
Number seven. I'll do it this way-if they say you're stupid, they're stupidder (whatta word). If they say you're ugly, they're uglier [this can be applied to any adjective that can be suffixed with -er... if not, use 'more'].
Number eight. Oii, backstabbers (in other words, every single person in the world), shut up if you got nothing good to say!
Number nine. Backstabbers get their happines from either being able to get their anger out... or seeing you cry.
Number ten. Read my blog description.
Ten things I REALLY must say.
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Labels: bittersweet, coaster, ride, roller
I walked away.
I got my bag back, but when I was coming back Y was there. Everyone was suddenly around me, moving around like a blur. Then they were kneeling and everything, and suddenly they looked like someone I knew years back, and hugging X, I thought I would start to cry. So teary-eyed, I felt as if I was breaking already. I just wanted to let go. Then suddenly the blurring subsided and things were going back to normal.
Then Y left again, I tried to run after her, but I couldn't. Then this person said so many things to me and threw my stuff to the floor, I mean, WOW, I was so confused about which person I should run after but in the end I just left.
Although after that I hung out with my friends in the parking lot, having fun, being happy. After sometime another friend of mine came by and we were having fun too. Only now did I feel the high part of this roller coaster ride...
That long sickening roller coaster ride.
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Now i didn't want to break the chain, but I'm in no mood to write about Chi for now.
Life is turning so stupid these days.
Everyday something good happens.
Then something bad happens too.
I'm getting sick of the echoes these things create in my head!
I would be so fine if all those gifts are good enough to overshadow the wounds that comes right after!
monday to sunday is always the same.
It's like life was just a storybook and this is the time where the author doesn't elaborate.
Everything just stays the same until I get to the part that the writer makes life interesting again.
Until then I can only wait.
The problem is that I might get tired long before that.
You see, I don't care much about the good things happening to me.
I'm bothered by everything bad, though.
So I promised not to cry.
Ha, how THAT's working out (it's not).
I also promised not to hurt.
Hmph (regret is such a painful feeling).
I promised to make those around me happy.
I don't care even if I get broken inside.
And now I promised to take care of myself.
And I don't like it one bit.
'Coz everything's so contradictory.
I'm turning insane, like I wouldn't be able to keep on going.
This happy-sad redundancy is getting annoying.
I can't take it anymore.
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
Monday, September 1, 2008
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at