It's the loneliness, and my confusion
All muddled up in this brain of mine
The pain inside, the desperation
I feel my own control decline
I cannot decipher the mystery
Encrypted in the lines-between
Oh, why has this chosen me,
Where is the light to be seen?
How can I walk, when each motion
Renders me hurt and a handicap?
Deep inside, it broke, its only notion
Is to see if the pain would stop.
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
6:39 AM
Reyelah. Call her that.
Reyelah used to be extraordinary. In her own world. She'd had admirers and lovers, and a whole lot of friends who loved being with her. Who knew she wouldn't be hoping to come back?! So yes, Reyelah left world glitz and moved on over, followed her dreams. And now she's just an ordinary girl. A person with a small group of friends and nothing much outstanding about her. Oh, she loved to laugh and she enjoyed the fun but she knew deep inside she was nothing, and woe to her, she began to doubt herself. Time passed and nostalgia started creeping up on her. She'd shiver in the night thinking of a day where nothing would keep her busy and she'd be sitting, helpless, with that emotion devouring her, just craving for more of her, and she'd have no way to fight back.
DAMN the world, she'd shout, desparate. Never did she know that after all the pain, she'd never want to come back to the Land of Pretty, knowing that hidden so cleverly underneath was more pain than one like her can imagine, and she'd remember the times she hid, shivering under her blankets and trying not to cry. Perhaps when she came back, she'd see something unsightly. Perhaps that was what she didn't want-to have her golden memories tainted with the horrible and obvious truth.
Or Perhaps, she'd found a shelter in someplace where she never thought she'd find it. Perhaps she found it here, where ever it is that she imagines herself right now as she stares at the blinking computer screen, her fingers traipsing over the keyboard and her mind trying to make sure this essay wasn't too monotonous and sentimental. Perhaps she found it in a world where she is ordinary, and where glitter doesn't blind her any more than it should.
Labels: fame
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
5:55 AM
Wow, there ain't classes for two weeks. I can't be any more thrilled. Wee. :|
There's a rainbow over your head; a rainbow over it. Cannot believe,
that you can't see it. Let's just say, I'm in love with lies and I'm not listening to you; you're ridiculously stupid and I'm brilliantly wrong. Perfection defined, let's open your eyes. And perceive that maybe we'll be something more. Love's a bore. Forget the wh***.
RANDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =P~Labels: bored, random, weird
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
5:23 AM
Even we can't turn ourselves around.
I treat every person differently. I have never known why, but it seems that way. The problem with that? Whenever I 'change', I never know how to go back. What's wrong with not going back? How annoying it is to hear that from someone that changed too. Y'see, I have these friends that changed, so long ago, and I changed how I treated them. Then it started turning difficult. They want me to change back. Do you know how much it hurts to hear someone tell you that you're not the person they came to love? That's why I don't tell them that THEY changed. I couldn't tell them that I can't change back. That I do NOT know how.
That however it might hurt me hearing those words from them I can not turn myself around. :((((((
I'll change back when you can turn the world to face the sun.
Labels: change, friends, harmony, sad, sun
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
11:06 PM
A few months ago, I chose to run away. I still do not know which choice should have been right. I ran away and yet the dilemma continues, the legacy still unfolds, in the path I chose to leave. Those I left behind have clenched their fists, folded their arms, and would soon forget. It was as if they had never held my hand and like they never cried on my shoulders. In their hearts I am a ghost that mustn't exist. Shall I be me, and go forth with a smile, or shall I let go of the pain I've concealed for so long? Would no one again wish to help, and hug me while the tears flow like I once wished they would?
Would I never again be wanted?
Labels: answer, sad
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
5:07 AM
but behind this happy girl is a story to tell, a story to tell, to anyone who would listen.
Today, I have the guts to ask myself, what happens when I couldn't take it anymore? Inside me, lies a story, so hidden, unknown, that though I laugh, I know I feel guilt, I don't want to keep hiding behind the covers that I myself have created. How can I stay untainted with sadness knowing that from somewhere, I've tried to forget my memories? Who knew that I would be hiding an embarrasing past...
One I just WISH I could tell. Labels: friends, guilt, hide, sad, sayoonara
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
7:35 PM
Love is in the air, and for all the saddest reasons.
I know of one with love betrayed, and revenge dwells well beneath the surface. I know a friend that's found The One, but woe, that love's forbidden. I know another that tricks herself into beleiving that she has ultimately forgotten her significant other.I know someone that keeps a secret love, afraid of the wrath, a friend might bring. I know of one who tries so much to forget to make way for another. I know of Hopeless Hoper, a girl that's held on for years. And I know one more, who's loved and doesn't deserve it, who receieves and can't reciprocate.
How can something so simple be so confusing, can hurt so much and bring bliss? How can one look enlighten you, and take you decades to forget? How can something live in the wrongest places? How can the world revolve it? How can our tales, our dreams, our thoughts, our wishes, our legends, our movies, and our lives... be controlled by such thing. How can we give so much of this to others, and still not get any back? How can we... love?
Okay, I am so bored. =)) I don't know what to draw, and I have nowhere else to write. =)) haha.
Labels: emotions, friends, hate, love
PG e i g h t e e n stepped on your garbage at
7:55 PM
